today was the best day of work in a looonng time. why? you might ask... well i'll tell you. if i haven't already mentioned somewhere, i work in the computer career field. more specifically i usually deal with Bluecoats and Sidewinders, and various other network security facets. recently they've had me working at the help desk to fill an empty slot. most of the time it's pretty easy, and i get to talk to a few really nice people. then there are the times that i have to deal with morons, dick heads, and people that think they know more about computers than me, but don't know shit. this story i'm about to share is about a moron. i could go on for days about the other two catagories but sometimes i just can't find the words to describe how much the dickheads can piss me off. so we'll just skip that and i'll have to find another, more appropriate way to vent. back to the moron....

i was having a normal day of work, answering calls and trying to help people as much as could. i generally get about 35 calls an hour, maybe more, maybe less. and today was no different. people calling asking how to add new computers to the domain, and wondering why their monitor won't work with out the power cable plugged in. around lunch time, i got a call regarding a computer that was running a little too hot. i wasn't really paying a whole lot of attention, and was about to say something about making sure that there was a fan noise while the computer was turned on. then he said something about taking the computer apart.... (this is the moron by the way) i asked him if he was the administrator over there, and informed him that taking the side panel apart was not something a "normal" user should be doing. he of course was not an admin, and god willing, he never will be. apparently he had already taken it apart. then he informed me that he put it back together and it wouldn't even boot. at this point i was already thinking that this was beyond anything i could help him with over the phone. next he asked me if it could have anything to do with putting the hard drive in the sink to cool it off. i started to laugh at him. i know it was unproffesional, but he had to be joking. no one would submerse a hard drive in water to "cool it off" and then expect it to work. it's simple mechanics, you don't put electronics in water. dumbass. so, i laughed, and he didn't. *crickets* i said "you're serious?!?" he seemed offended that i even asked. so i tried my best to not laugh again while i explained that he will need to tell his administrator to order a new hard drive. that was the end of the call. and what i thought was the end of the stupidity...

*2 hours later*

the same guy calls back and gets one of the other technicians. i didn't know it was him, but i had a feeling when i heard the other tech say "you're kidding right??!?" and start laughing. after the tech got off the phone he told me everything. apparantly he decided not to follow my reccomendation and call his admin. instead he calls the pc manufacturer help desk, and tells them everything "except the hard drive in the sink part". they determine that it is a power supply problem. he then takes it upon himself to stick paperclips in the back of the power supply... (if there was any doubt that he is indeed a moron, that right there should clear up any misconceptions) seriously paperclips??? three year olds know better than that. Anyway as the other techy explained it, the user then tries to boot up the computer. power supply kicks in and starts smoking. the whole thing lights up like a miniature bonfire, and lights up some paperwork on his desk. fortunately for the office he was smart enough to find AND use the fire extinguisher. the fire department came out and made sure that everything was okay. after everything was over and his computer and monitor (and desk) are toast, he calls us. why you might ask? go ahead try to figure out why.... nothing come to mind? because he thought that since we were responsible for computers, that we would send someone out to clean up his mess. his logic behind this was that the computer started the fire, and we fix computers. so we must fix messes created by computers.

needless to say we sent no one out to clean, and i'll be surprised if he is allowed near a computer ever again. i have never laughed so long and so hard at anyone before. and this was the only call where i just couldn't keep from laughing at the customer. well, i've laughed at quite a few customers, but usually after they hang up and i've helped them with thier problem. i'll tell you one thing about this job though. if you have ever thought that you were dumb or didn't know anything about computers, just sit in at the help desk for a while. you will feel incredible about your own intelligence after just one day. i promise. well that's it for now, i can't wait till i get out of the help desk and put back to my normal job. but hey, if someone is entertained by this story then i guess it was all worth it.

-ryan-
still on hiatus